NOT SURE WHY I AM FEELING THIS WAY...

So I started taking my birth control on Sunday - 2/10/19 and now I am feeling sad and depressed…maybe I am just going through the emotions and trying to adjust to the medication. I also feel REALLY lonely today. I have a husband who is gone a lot…he works nights so being alone is hard for me. I have let Shawn sleep in my bed two times already this week, because I just feel alone and it helps to have him by my side.

I wonder if this will pass or has it just begun?

I know with any new medication, comes side effects and this one had two pages worth. We shall see how it does, but right now, I am going to take it that I am just adjusting to the meds and hopefully it will soon pass! I haven’t taken birth control in 7+ years so I have no clue or remember what happens with it! LOL

I took getting that news as an answer to a question that I have been long waiting to get resolved.

Will we EVER have another baby?

Well I guess since I started birth control, that is 100% out of the question. So I am going to start selling totes of clothes, baby gear, and so much more!

I feel like it has been weighing me down mentally and I always feel in limbo of what I should do with it, but now the answer is clear.

Sometimes we have to de-clutter our emotions to you know? This has been weighing on me for a very long time and I just want free from it. Free from it ALL. So if you know someone who is about to have a baby boy…I CAN HOOK YOU UP with some beautiful gear and clothes.

It has been taking up 5+ totes, and a whole ROOM full of gear that I just need to get rid of, but I want to sell it…this is thousands of dollars laying there and I can’t just give it away because it brings back so many memories of Shawn. (Or is that the mental lock down it has on me!?!? SEEEE I am a mess!!)

My sweet boy who apparently will be the only child. My sweet boy who will never get to experience a sibling because of mommy’s issues. My sweet boy who I hope don’t feel robbed of that sibling either. I hope you know you are the BEST thing that has ever happened to me!!!

Sometimes God has a way of doing things to answer our questions and I always say…”God you are going to have to be VERY CLEAR on what my next step is…because I am always afraid I will miss it.”

This answer and news I got last Thursday was VERY CLEAR to me…so it has begun…the de-cluttering of the baby gear!!

WISH ME LUCK - This will take EFFORT - Physically and mentally!!